I had a little quandary when thinking about this chapter last night. In bed. Yes! It is true. I plan most of my writing exploits in bed.
I had an idea of where I was going with this chapter, but I had a quandary as I say. It was sort of a toss a coin scenario. I wanted to either write an A to Z of LGBT or an L to T of LGBT.
I decided against the A to Z as I thought it would take forever, plus I did not want to just include something for every letter of the alphabet for the sake of it. I decided to go with The L to T of LGBT. I will also talk about a few words which do not begin with the letters in the acronym. I hope you enj0y the results of my bedroom musing. We will start with L and end with T.
L is for : Lesbian, Loyalty,Lies and Liberty
The dictionary definition of a lesbian is;
“Of or pertaining to female homosexuality”
Interestingly also, dictionary.com also offers the definition erotic and sexual. How modern.
So clearly we know that lesbians are women who fancy other women. For me, it is not about certain hair or a certain look. It is about personality. It is about sensitivity, sensuality and an emotional connection. Now I am sure gay men would say the same and more about their relationships with their boyfriends too, and more. However, I guess that is the unadulterated pleasure and luxury of same sex attraction. You can put all your eggs is one basket, focus on it, and be really excited about it. Plus you can enjoy good quality friendships with gay men for example, without attraction. You also know that that will take care of itself . That is incredibly comforting.
A phrase I have heard a lot in the gay community is that people “have your back.” It is basically saying that you have friends, you are cared about and will be looked out for in the gay community and beyond. Reassuring. It is reassuring because as much as I may do camp and fluff very well, the LGBT are a vulnerable minority. It is reassuring that for all its’ bitching, rivalry and tiffs, the LGBT community is anchored by one major thing. Loyalty. When you are an oppressed minority, you are stronger together than you are apart. Hate crime also is on the increase. It amazes me that in a modern society, people still hate each other based on the fact someone sleeps with the same sex, or indeed that people are defined solely by primitive biological genitalia. It is worth noting that the TS community is campaigning vigourously to have transsexuality de pathologised as an illness or disease as well.
You may wonder why I have included lies. Simply because, the LGBT Community have lies in common. We all have to suffer the indignity of living a lie before we come out. It can be painful and agonising, but I just thank goodness we live in a free and democratic society where we have the liberty to come out and do as we choose. Yes homophobia exists, but we can feel comfy in our own skin.
G IS FOR, GAY, GROWTH, AND GRATEFUL
The term gay was originally used to describe men who are attracted to other men, however it is also widely used in a contemporary sense as a blanket term to describe the whole gay community.
Turning to growth, flipping the point about lies, I think the coming out process enables you to grow as a person enormously, you gain confidence, charisma and a stronger sense of identity through finding out who you are, whether you are keeping secrets of gender, sexuality or something else. You can then feel more balanced and concentrate on either building or re-building a life for yourself. Also a sense of authenticity and blossoming happened for me.
Now being grateful. I do not mean this in a sense of bowing down to people. However I am enormously grateful to those who have supported me on my journey to date. They are in no particular order, Clare and Michelle from JDM, Pat from JDM, and all the others who were with me at the start. Without you, this would never have happened and I am eternally glad it did. From a counselling viewpoint, The Queen of Positive Beams Ms Tina Livingstone. She created that initial safe space where I could be open and honest about how I felt. She has shared, and continues to share my ups, my downs and the space in between. With every new shoot that has grown in my life, she has been there to witness it, and I am eternally grateful for that.
In more recent times I am grateful to Nick Lindner, James Dickason and their team at The Edge for creating a friendly, welcoming, buzzing and lively place for me to go and well, just be. When I go there now it feels like coming home and I am never short of friends from there, both online and off.
I’d also like to thank the lovely Rebecca Goodchild for playing hot tunes at The Edge, taking the piss out of me, complimenting me on my writing and for being a friend of the blog. Her website is also in the Links section. She goes all over the world you know, and is a new fan of oats, pineapple and flapjacks.
B IS FOR BISEXUAL, BRAVE, BEAUTIFUL AND BUCKETFUL
Bisexual of course refers to an attraction to both men and women.
I think being part of a grouping, or more than one grouping within the gay community takes bravery. I say that not because I think participation is a bad thing. It is extremely good. However, I say it because of wider society and its perceptions.
You see, if you are not different in any way, you are seen as normal. Of course normal is really a social construction and non existent. However, if you live outside pre ordained parameters, you other yourself and become more vulnerable. Knowing this, and pressing on with your journey does take immense bravery. But who knows, along with My Transsexual Summer and Coming Out Stories your efforts may inspire others.
This is your blog and your voice too. No readers, no blog. So thank you for your reading and kind comments.
Of course also, we are all beautiful in are own ways.
But there can be times when you feel like you’ve had a bucketful, enough and you want to give in. Another blogger, Lady Muck (a.k.a Sarah Savage from My Transsexual Summer) has some fantabulous advice on this very point. A link to her musings is in the Links tab.
She encourages people to remember why they started. I think this is invaluable advice, and advice I definitely follow in my own life.
T IS FOR TRANSSEXUAL, TRIUMPH, AND TRUTH
A transsexual is someone who does not belong to their biological or birth sex.They may take several steps (psychological, visual, vocal or surgical) to align themselves with their desired sex, and correct the incongruence between mind and body.
Now obviously our journey as part of the LGBT community never ends, nor quite concludes, as we are always discovering new things about others and ourselves. When we reach a point where we are at peace with who we are , what we are, and are happy to share it with others, we can say that we have triumphed, and are living truthful, honest lives.
Living in truth is so much better than living a lie, and I speak from the heart when I say that, t is for truly.